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| this is one of those weird limbo times in my life. my job AND my lease are both about to run out. this means, if i don't get my butt into serious gear soon, i'm not going to have income or a place to live.
it totally feels like catch-22. i don't know where i should live if i don't know where i'll be working. yet, i have no idea where/what i want my job to be. it's so frustrating i just want to curl up in a ball and avoid it altogether.
i've found a couple of viable places on craigslist, but i can't decide if i want to stay in VA or move back into DC. i think i might want to stay in arlington. i rather enjoy the commute, even if it's 40+ minutes and i curse every single hill on the ride home. i think what i really want to do is buy and house and settle down. but clearly, that's out of the question at the moment.
something else that's been bothering me. i care too much what my parents think. like, right now, i'm considering a room in an apartment with 2 guys. me and two guys. and i think my mom would have an aneurysm if she knew. fuck them. i'm old enough to make decisions by myself. but at the same time, i still value their opinions and know that they care a lot about me and my well-being. hence the hesitation.
it's so fucking tiring, you know? but instead of talking it out, i shut down. i hide it all inside. and suffer alone.
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| it's funny how i can feel like total shit after lounging around for a weekend and not biking or doing much of anything. i think i used to enjoy downtime, but now i feel like i've got so much stuff i need to be doing that i can't just enjoy relaxing. i also think i must be eating more or something and that's why i'm starting to feel gross after a couple of days of inactivity.
didn't sleep well last night because i spent the whole night thinking about this job interview and how i hope i get the job, despite my mom's crap talk about how i need to better utilize my skills. also, last night i found on craigslist a house with a $350/mo room, roommates being a bro and sis who graduated from osu, and they seemed to be quite into biking, beer, and progressive politics. plus it's like 6 blocks away from where i live now, so that would be super sweet if it worked out.
basically last night's dreams were my ideal situations.
imagine my letdown when i checked my email this morning and had no news from either the job nor the housing option. sigh.
on a better note, i started the evening with a smorgasborg of veggies left over from erin's visit that i wanted to use up and had no idea how, and ended up with yummy mifen (essentially, stir-fried vegetable rice noodles). i was super proud of myself. :D
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| erin came this past week to visit for about 3 days.
she said it was essentially yo-yo bootcamp!
lol. well, she's an awesome student. she's the one who kept saying, hey, let's go yo-yo!
:D
i think she learned about 5 new tricks in the 3 days. impressive, no?
it was so great having someone to yo-yo with. we were at it prolly close to 1.5 hours each session.
plus, erin taught me 2 very easy and very tasty dishes. one pasta, one chicken. and now i actually have more spices than just salt and pepper! :)
she's a bananagram convert now, too!
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| when beanie returned my bro's bike to me, i realized two things:
1) that bike is heavy as fuck
2) i am no longer used to bikes that have a kickstand
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| i've been having odd dreams lately. still can't figure out if it's because of where i moved my bed or what. or maybe i'm just feeling restless. i tend to go through odd cycles like that.
or maybe i've just been watching too many episodes of csi.
erin's coming into town tomorrow evening. we plan on hitting up the botanical gardens, maybe 1 or 2 museums, artomatic (possibly with jabeen and laura), and definitely doing as much yo-yoing as the weather will allow. :D
tomorrow my group paper is due, and then i'm officially DONE with grad school!!
oh, and wish me luck on my job interview on wed. i really hope i get it. i'm furiously brushing up on my german skillz.
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